Being loyal bit me in the butt.....

Although my children would say I am vain, I maintain that I do care about my appearance most of the time, and do not try to impress people. However recently I had to deal with the misfortune of having my hair cut by two barbers and an aspiring one. It cost me 27 dollars, which is the amount what I used to spend years ago for a permed hairstyle. My haircut usually cost me ten dollars, and I usually go see my barber every other month. I have always believe in maintaining two stylists (My younger sister was my backup stylist) and when I went natural, I had two barbers. Well recently I had to part ways with the Senior Barber. He is a nice well rounded guy, but I think that his eyesight is failing. Lately I had been going to the younger barber, but he had relocated and it was hard to catch up with him.

I requested a trim from the Senior Barber and within minutes of him going to work, something felt too close. I should have known something was up when I saw one of his friends hand him some eyeglasses. I also should have walked out when he indicated to the other guy that his diabetes had kept him home for a while. He had indicated in previous visits that it was affecting his eyesight, but this time, I should have picked up on the signs. After another close shave, I started praying.

I asked God not to let this man totally screw up the nice afro that I had grown.

I asked God to not let this man put bald patches in my head.

Unfortunately God wasn't going to waste his energy on this one, because he had already sent me the warning signs, which I had ignored. When the Senior Barber handed me the mirror, I was shocked. I saw that he had cut real low on my left rear side, and on top at the crown area. I exclaimed my disappointment, paid him and ran out of there. One customer in the other chair, had the audacity to say that my hair looked good, but I really think he did that for the Senior Barber's benefit. There was no point in verbally going off on the Senior Barber because he felt that he did no wrong, and the brother needed the money. But at that moment, a good three year old amicable relationship had ended.

My kids clowned me as soon as I got home. My son, who was a customer of Senior Barber before I came on board, had the most enjoyment because he had jumped ship a year ago to stick with Young Barber. We both met him at the same time and tried his services. My son committed to Young Barber after the second cut. I was still using both of them, but when Senior Barber was on hiatus, I used the services of Young Barber who although a bit high strung, was very serious about his work.

I was upset, but I took their ribbing in good humor. My daughter who wants me to let my hair just grow out, indicated that I should have left well enough alone. In this case, she may have been right. I just wanted a neater look, and with some patting, I could have achieved it. My son suggested that since we could not get in touch with Young Barber at the time, that his buddy could try to fix the mess. So we went over his buddy's house and asked him to do the job.

Poor kid........I explained to him what I needed fixing and he seemed so nervous. My son had to guide him to the point of taking the clippers and doing some trimming himself. The guy does a great job with his younger siblings so I was so surprised that he could not confidentially do my head. But I realized that he had a lot of respect for me, and did not want to upset me further. I also think that the kid feared that if he did not do a good job, that I would no longer include him on our family outings.

Although they tried, I knew that there was a section that needed to be fixed. My kids said it was alright, but my fingers told me otherwise. One of the younger siblings of my son's friend has a tendency to be real brutally honest. So I asked him one day about the back of my head. Was it even? Or did it have even dips in the back? He just came out and told me the truth and indicated that if someone maintained that it was alright, they were just lying.

So when we found out where Young Barber was working at, we went to his shop. It was a combo beauty and barber shop, and although I do not like to frequent those places, I went there. I don't have an issue of gossip at beauty shops, but there are times when you hear too much of somebody's private business. Even if I don't know the person, it sometimes bothers me to hear the gory details of how some guy is cheating on his wife and both the wife and mistress are expecting their babies at the same time. There have been times (unbeknown to those in question), when I knew the person that they were talking about to each other with a rapt audience in attendance.

When I came in, Young Barber who seems to have settled in real well, jumped into action. He told me that he could fix it. I expected that he would get on my case for going to another barber, but he did not go there. As usual with him, there is some drama. Some of his kids came in to hit him up for some money and he was irked right away. He did tell me that he was going to have to really cut it because my hair was so uneven. However I was not mentally ready for what I saw when he finished.

My head is shaped like an egg, which clearly showed when I checked myself in the mirror. This has been the shortest length of my hair since I was a baby. I was not happy but I could not get mad with Young Barber because he cleaned it up and edged it up very well. Shoot, after this haircut, I might get the dude to cut my grass now, although his young son has been clamoring for the job. However I am self conscious about my hair right now, to the point where I pulled out one of my wigs. Right now, I wish I had the pictured wig. I wore my wig a couple of times, but chilled due to the inclement weather. I did get some compliments on my haircut at a gathering, but I ain't feeling it, and will be glad when I get my two inches of hair back. That where my vanity surfaced. A guy friend of mines has not seen me in a while, and does not want to see me in a wig. He does not care much for weaves and wigs, so his reaction will be interesting. I have not seen him in a while, and know when next week comes, I better get ready.

His approval does not shape my perception of how I should look, but I realized that it did affect me to some degree. Also noticing the reaction of other men to me, has been interesting. I already know that Black men are very partial to hair, and having no or little hair can render a women invisible at times. But surprisingly, a younger guy made a pass at me. After our interaction faded out, I don't think it was due to the way I looked but it was the mental gymnasts (probing along with intellectual stimulation). A friend indicated that the young tiger may assumed that I would be an easy booty call, and I proved otherwise. At times I wished that superficiality was Not a major component in men's/women's interactions, but understand that it is firmly ingrained in our society.

The experience was interesting in that I found that sticking to the tried and true is not always safe. I also learned that I really do worry about how I look more than I care to admit. I have become more forgiving of folks, but I will not make that same mistake twice when it comes to my hair. I will miss Senior Barber's humorous take on the world, and enjoyed talking with him. Unfortunately for his pocket, Young Barber will not see me for a long time because I am not letting anybody with some clippers near my head for at least a year. I do not care if there are split ends and such, because I want my woolly bush back as soon as possible......I may not ever get to the fullness ala Angela Davis in the photo, but I am going to try for it........

Happy Father's Day!

Father's Day is tomorrow, and I thought about my Dad. He was really my stepfather and it has been ten years since he passed. After his passing, I did try to locate my biological father but after a search, I realized that I did not have the time nor money to pursue it extensively, so I let it go. I also realized that if he had wanted to locate me, he could have done so, because my grandparents have a distinct name and had the same listed telephone number and address for more than 30 years.

My mother did have one photo of him. She and him are standing outside her job. He is a tall light-skinned robust guy that is wearing some Ray Ban styled sunglasses. The picture is now lost. My mother mainly kept photos in an vinyl envelope and a lot of our childhood photos (My parents did not take many...) are gone. Some my photos that I kept, were lost in a flood. After I moved out my sister took over and moved my mementos to the basement which got flooded when the local canal flooded over some twenty years ago. God works in mysteries ways, because that sister got her just desserts later when her storage unit went up in flames as Piquette burnt down that that fiery inferno back in the Summer of 2005.

I want to ask my mother again about the photo because I remember thinking that although they were supposed to be a couple, their body language did not portray that. His arm is around her shoulders, but they still appear very stiff and formal. She has a slight smile and he seems to be smiling but is not showing any teeth. My mother did tell me some things, but the main thing was that he was not happy that he had another daughter, which means that I do have a sister somewhere out there that is 47 years old. Although my biological father refused to see me or provide support, part of me still wants to see the other half of what contributed to my DNA. I do not feel like I resemble my mother like some of my sisters do, so that has always made me wonder what my biological father really looked like.

I did get some letters answering my inquires about my biological father while I was doing my search. Some were sweet. Surprisingly a guy wrote back. He told me that he did not have any children and he was white and much older than my biological father. One was from a lady whose father had the same name as my biological father. She informed that her father was white, and was currently going through Alzheimers and could not respond. She did write some words of encouragement as she wished me success on my journey. I did travel to the city of my birth to get some records but was disappointed when the officials told me that it was a two week period to obtain the records and I would have to return back in person to receive the records. I was so disgusted because I did not have the funds or time to do that, so I just let it go. If I do try again, it will be with a professional firm when I have the money, but I do worry that biological father may be gone by that time.

As I think of my step dad, I remember that he was a man of many contradictions. Very religious, was a good looking ladies man, articulate, brilliant, unconventional, good with tool/cars and somewhat of a hermit at the end. I must give them, he and my mother loved and fought for more than thirty years but was always encouraging and supportive to each other. So many things that he talked about and advised me on, have proven later to be true and sometimes those things slap me in the face. He was on point about education, and the current economic situation that we are in now. He predicted the mortgage crisis, and I wished that I had listened to him, saved money and put in some sweat equity. Although he was very temperamental, I still miss his laugh, his take on popular culture, and his sense of humor. I remind my children of him, and how lucky they are to have their Dad in their lives......

Happy Father's Day to all fathers that make it a priority to be there and active in their children's lives.............

The Bump that was seen around the World...

Edit:
All though he felt that that the Obamas looked truly square as they did it, a socially astute acquaintance reminded me that the gesture is really called "The Dap." (please excuse my faux pas.........)

Give me some Dap!


Still feeling a bit giddy about Obama's success. Loved Michelle's and his display of Knuckle Love................... My Translation: It was about: “ I gotcha ya Babe, and we showed them! We'll slaps lips/spit and really break each other some off later.........”

White folks still are trying to understand us, although they mainly think they got us figured out. Every know and them, I see them using the gesture in a commercial or a geeky or nerdy comedy movie. We Black folks have been bumping the knuckles for years. Its always been a expression of affection between Black Men and Black People. The last time I did it was with my son, was when he was on his way out the door last week with friends...... For us, it meant: Peace, and Be Safe............

I have to laugh at one and anothers' analysis of the gesture as “Barack and Michelle Obama's 'fist bump of hope' shows them silly in love....” Some even got irked because he patted his wife's derrière, although hundreds of pro football players do it a million times during the season. Heyyyyy.........If she doesn't mind, then I ain't got a problem with it just as long as Obama does not get carried away with it. As usual, the uninformed has no clue and needs to chat with one of their BBFs that is real not artificial, or listen to Black talk radio............We have to challenge their view because if we followed the traditional script, there wouldn't be any of our authentic flavor in this world. It was a reminder that we still have to work on enlightening folks..............

Michelle Obama will be a guest host on "The View" on June 18 and I am looking forward to seeing her jump in the talk/gabfest with Whoop, Joy and the rest of the ladies.....Even you too, Barbara Walters.......(Self proclaimed Adulteress and @*#$ that does not know how to keep her own business to herself.....)

Personal note to Ms. Walters..........

Although you usually inject yourself in your coverage of the celebrities, and issues you reported about, I did not care, despite what the naysayers said!!! Nobody in the business could work a star and have tearing up and boo hooing like you did, Girl!! I used to have much love for you, until you had to dig down and pull out all the secrets to Super Pimp yourself...You must have been taking notes from the School of Karrine Steffans. What I want to know: Damn, is the finances that tight for you too?.........or ABC ain't paying you enough? Or do you want some attention now that Star Jones is sinking into obscurity? (Star, please make a comeback after you finish unloading the external weight!) Barbara, I just believe that some stuff needs to be left unsaid and taken to the grave, or least revealed after the casket has been buried so that the kids and grandkids can least make some money......But I forget that for you as a veteran newscaster, nobody can present your story better than you can.............