Happy Father's Day!
Father's Day is tomorrow, and I thought about my Dad. He was really my stepfather and it has been ten years since he passed. After his passing, I did try to locate my biological father but after a search, I realized that I did not have the time nor money to pursue it extensively, so I let it go. I also realized that if he had wanted to locate me, he could have done so, because my grandparents have a distinct name and had the same listed telephone number and address for more than 30 years.
My mother did have one photo of him. She and him are standing outside her job. He is a tall light-skinned robust guy that is wearing some Ray Ban styled sunglasses. The picture is now lost. My mother mainly kept photos in an vinyl envelope and a lot of our childhood photos (My parents did not take many...) are gone. Some my photos that I kept, were lost in a flood. After I moved out my sister took over and moved my mementos to the basement which got flooded when the local canal flooded over some twenty years ago. God works in mysteries ways, because that sister got her just desserts later when her storage unit went up in flames as Piquette burnt down that that fiery inferno back in the Summer of 2005.
I want to ask my mother again about the photo because I remember thinking that although they were supposed to be a couple, their body language did not portray that. His arm is around her shoulders, but they still appear very stiff and formal. She has a slight smile and he seems to be smiling but is not showing any teeth. My mother did tell me some things, but the main thing was that he was not happy that he had another daughter, which means that I do have a sister somewhere out there that is 47 years old. Although my biological father refused to see me or provide support, part of me still wants to see the other half of what contributed to my DNA. I do not feel like I resemble my mother like some of my sisters do, so that has always made me wonder what my biological father really looked like.
I did get some letters answering my inquires about my biological father while I was doing my search. Some were sweet. Surprisingly a guy wrote back. He told me that he did not have any children and he was white and much older than my biological father. One was from a lady whose father had the same name as my biological father. She informed that her father was white, and was currently going through Alzheimers and could not respond. She did write some words of encouragement as she wished me success on my journey. I did travel to the city of my birth to get some records but was disappointed when the officials told me that it was a two week period to obtain the records and I would have to return back in person to receive the records. I was so disgusted because I did not have the funds or time to do that, so I just let it go. If I do try again, it will be with a professional firm when I have the money, but I do worry that biological father may be gone by that time.
As I think of my step dad, I remember that he was a man of many contradictions. Very religious, was a good looking ladies man, articulate, brilliant, unconventional, good with tool/cars and somewhat of a hermit at the end. I must give them, he and my mother loved and fought for more than thirty years but was always encouraging and supportive to each other. So many things that he talked about and advised me on, have proven later to be true and sometimes those things slap me in the face. He was on point about education, and the current economic situation that we are in now. He predicted the mortgage crisis, and I wished that I had listened to him, saved money and put in some sweat equity. Although he was very temperamental, I still miss his laugh, his take on popular culture, and his sense of humor. I remind my children of him, and how lucky they are to have their Dad in their lives......
Happy Father's Day to all fathers that make it a priority to be there and active in their children's lives.............
My mother did have one photo of him. She and him are standing outside her job. He is a tall light-skinned robust guy that is wearing some Ray Ban styled sunglasses. The picture is now lost. My mother mainly kept photos in an vinyl envelope and a lot of our childhood photos (My parents did not take many...) are gone. Some my photos that I kept, were lost in a flood. After I moved out my sister took over and moved my mementos to the basement which got flooded when the local canal flooded over some twenty years ago. God works in mysteries ways, because that sister got her just desserts later when her storage unit went up in flames as Piquette burnt down that that fiery inferno back in the Summer of 2005.
I want to ask my mother again about the photo because I remember thinking that although they were supposed to be a couple, their body language did not portray that. His arm is around her shoulders, but they still appear very stiff and formal. She has a slight smile and he seems to be smiling but is not showing any teeth. My mother did tell me some things, but the main thing was that he was not happy that he had another daughter, which means that I do have a sister somewhere out there that is 47 years old. Although my biological father refused to see me or provide support, part of me still wants to see the other half of what contributed to my DNA. I do not feel like I resemble my mother like some of my sisters do, so that has always made me wonder what my biological father really looked like.
I did get some letters answering my inquires about my biological father while I was doing my search. Some were sweet. Surprisingly a guy wrote back. He told me that he did not have any children and he was white and much older than my biological father. One was from a lady whose father had the same name as my biological father. She informed that her father was white, and was currently going through Alzheimers and could not respond. She did write some words of encouragement as she wished me success on my journey. I did travel to the city of my birth to get some records but was disappointed when the officials told me that it was a two week period to obtain the records and I would have to return back in person to receive the records. I was so disgusted because I did not have the funds or time to do that, so I just let it go. If I do try again, it will be with a professional firm when I have the money, but I do worry that biological father may be gone by that time.
As I think of my step dad, I remember that he was a man of many contradictions. Very religious, was a good looking ladies man, articulate, brilliant, unconventional, good with tool/cars and somewhat of a hermit at the end. I must give them, he and my mother loved and fought for more than thirty years but was always encouraging and supportive to each other. So many things that he talked about and advised me on, have proven later to be true and sometimes those things slap me in the face. He was on point about education, and the current economic situation that we are in now. He predicted the mortgage crisis, and I wished that I had listened to him, saved money and put in some sweat equity. Although he was very temperamental, I still miss his laugh, his take on popular culture, and his sense of humor. I remind my children of him, and how lucky they are to have their Dad in their lives......
Happy Father's Day to all fathers that make it a priority to be there and active in their children's lives.............
Labels: biological father, Father's Day, Fatherhood, Step-Father
posted by Abundance @ 11:30 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home