In A Sentimental Mood.....................

Attending another wedding this afternoon. A couple at my church is getting married, and I heard that they are dealing with a lot of issues, like illness and lack of support from family. I do not know all details or sides to the story, but I hope that after they get married, that the family comes around or at least offer the olive branch. Recently the groom-to-be was sick and hospitalized for pneumonia, and the bride to be also was hospitalized after he got out. Although I do not know them very well, I do like them and wish them the best for their wedding and the marriage.

The wedding last week was interesting. I was more happy for our cousin, the father of the bride because he was so elated that his young daughter (age 25), a product of his teenage years, was getting married. She looked so radiant as he escorted her down the aisle. He and her mother had not made it as a couple and unfortunately, she had died tragically when his daughter was a teenager. His daughter had become a single mother early in life, and although he was disappointed, he supported her. The wedding party included both younger sides of the family, friends, cousins along with the bride's children and the groom's children also. Our cousin's children that he has with his wife, served as hostesses (& groomsman) and they looked adorable. I could remember when they were little playing with my children and I realized that they will be adults in a few years also.

I had a Duh moment. The Bride and Groom also had a son together and he was dressed up for the occasion with his infant tuxedo. The way the groom's teenage daughter fussed over her little brother, I had assumed that was her child, but our cousin had cleared it up for me later. I am so glad that I did not ask anyone else and made a fool of myself. We chatted around the end of the reception when I was leaving, and he was told me that he was so glad the event was over and hoped that his two teenage daughters would finish college, and get their own home first before he had to deal with their children and pay for another wedding. I share his sentiment also. Like him, I also hope my daughter will wait ten years, is at least 26 years old, and finished with school before those life events come.

Been hooked on YouTube.com lately, that my kids are complaining that they do not get much time. I thank God for You Tube! It is so great to see the performances of those that have went on, and that I never saw on TV on in concert. I have been able to see some of the performance of Minnie Riperton, and also one of my personal favorites, Phyllis Hyman (link for her best bio site online). I got to see Phyllis Hyman twice, the last time in 1994, at Detroit's Chene Park, which I think was her last performance in Detroit. She was so gifted, so beautiful and is really missed. The old dear high school crush friend popped back up. He apologized for his fadeout, citing overtime work, and as we talked favorite music one night, we found that we both have a fondness for Phyllis Hyman. As my sixteen-year-old daughter watched some of the performances with me, I asked her what other performer reminded her of Phyllis Hyman. She must have read my mind, because she replied: Toni Braxton. I guess that great minds do think alike!

In this "Sacred Kind of Love" video with Grover Washington Jr (another outstanding musician that has also passed on), Phyllis' hairstyle reminds me of another wedding that I was attending in 1987. It was very humid that day, and my freshly washed, pressed and curled hair flopped as soon as I took the hair out of the rollers. I did not have time to get some more setting lotion and back them, there was not a beauty supply on every corner like it is now. I took a white silk scarf similar to what Phyllis Hyman is wearing and attempted the same style. However, my bangs still would not keep a curl even with the curling iron. Thankfully there was still some body left in my hair, and I was able to create a loose bang, which lasted until the reception to cover up the curling iron burn at my hairline.

My boyfriend (my ex-husband), whose cousin was getting married, was not crazy about the hairstyle when I met him at the church. By it being so hot and humid outside and inside the church, he finally understood my explanation of my hair problem as he observed other folk's curls drooping, and sweat seeping through the backs of suit jackets and evening dresses. But luckily, the reception hall had good air conditioning and we had a ball and partied hard. Today I do not have any of those past issues, and I just want to be on time, comfortable, and be able to enjoy the ceremony and reception.

I hope everybody has a nice weekend..............

Misty musing, beings on the edge, and a list....

Random musing:

Misty Rainy Morning. My yard/plants definitely needed it. I sat on the porch this morning and enjoyed the quiet and solitude. I feel for the Dream Cruiser organizers and participants, but they did have a good day yesterday and weather during the last two years. Hopefully the sun will come out this afternoon.

Last summer when I hosted five extra kids for the month of August, my computer took a beating and crashed last September. After eight kids using the unit for a month, the hard drive died. I lost a mega load of links and is slowly compiling them again, although I doubt that I will find all of them. This morning I found a site link that I had bookmarked before, called The Snowsuit Effort. I have seen some of the city and homeless folks whose pictures are featured there. Some of them I may have observed, dodged around, given money to, or watched pick through the remains at Eastern Market. Those faces still belong to somebody's family/tribe. They are someone's mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, godchild, niece, nephew or cousin. Looking at those pictures reminded me that we are not far removed from being homeless. Having loving and extended family and friends helps keep many of us off that edge. So far, life has shown me that you will really see who is in your corner when you are in dire straits or desperate need for assistance, and hopefully through the grace of God, those people will be able to come through for you.

One interesting Detroit character, a guy pictured on the site called Tommy, has been around for years and I've always wondered about him. I don't think he is homeless and was featured as a face about town. Tommy's June 3, 2005 quote indicated that he is 47.......... okay, but I remember seeing him when I was younger and worked downtown. Occasionally I would see him at downtown and at Eastern Market. His hair was usually brightly colored (carrot) and he was very friendly. I realize now that once I had his color five years ago. Back then I was not as outgoing as I am now, and our conversation never went beyond hello. Observing him back then, he seemed very bubbly and his voice reminded me of the director Billy Wilder and a little bit of Truman Capote.

Looking forward to attending this wedding this afternoon. It is a beginning for my cousin's daughter and I am in the mood to celebrate new beginnings because I am currently dealing with an ending. My guy and I have unofficially called it quits again for the third time in twenty-something years. Ironically, it seems to always happens during the month of August. There were unresolved issues from the past, proposed cohabiting compromises that never would come about, along with dissimilar goals and desires.
Oh well, that is the result when a Leo and Taurus try to merge. I hope that the next man that has a mutual attraction with me is either:

1. Cancer,
2. Capricorn,
3. Virgo,
4. The rest. Sag, Taurus, etc........

(Disclaimer: I know there are some people whose beliefs conflicts with this view, but as a person who does believe in God and the additional sights that is given to us, I do believe that this does has some bearing on our existence.)

But personality wise, it just wasn't a good fit, although we felt we were great as lovers. Some say the third time is a charm, but with that union, I believe that we have struck out permanently. I do feel much lighter now, maybe because the pressure, expectations, and tension is gone. The old dear high school crush friend brief reunion has faded out also. He will always be a good friend that can make me laugh, and I truly doubt it will be nothing more than that. As a never married grandfather with considerable amount of offspring, and a string of broken relationships, the guy is like a flirty, very curious deer, but nervous and poised to take flight at any sign of being detained.

A year after my divorce, I told my sister what I wanted in a guy, and I remember her cynically telling me that it does not exist. When I celebrated a friend's birthday this week at a blues bar, I told her about my list and that I wished similar for her, she simply told me those qualities could not be found here in Detroit, to look elsewhere, or wait until my kids became grown. Then she proceeded to tell me that she has sworn off men and sex. I wanted to say something like “Yeah Right.......” But since we were celebrating her birthday, I smiled, shook my head and launched into another subject. However by being the eternal optimist when it comes to relationships, I still have my grocery list. Just think a bit of The Witches of Eastwick for a moment.

Wanted: A Friend, Lover, Comrade, and Occasional Escort

Required Qualifications: A person who understands their place in this world, is trying to better it the best way they can without a Superman complex, but is a person of action, a risk taker in moderation who will step up when necessary. Seeking a guy who is physically and mentally tough, but tender also, like when engaging in pillow and baby talk, and witty enough take and sling verb barbs with cynical teenagers that believe that they know it all. Wishing for someone who is a good conversationalist, diplomant, shrewd negotiator, has a sense of humor (sometimes wicked), long with a sense of compassion/kindness combined with honor/integrity, a curious seeker of knowledge, a recognizer of wisdom/coupled with a belief/fear in God, and is also a self-sufficient/self-aware/self-secure being that does recognize that they have vulnerabilities, but mentally strong not to let them diminish them as a person.

Skills: Technology adept, understands how to measure, is manual/power-tool handy, somewhat knows their way around a vehicle, a kitchen, and also knows how to use the controls of the washing machine and dryer. Definitely needs to understand the working and pleasuring of the sensitive parts of a woman's body too. Must be able to read/decipher the minimal and abstract assembly instructions that come with anything made in foreign countries and be able to still put the item together without it coming apart later.

Other qualifications and skills desired that may be obtained later: Masseuse therapist, Horticulturist, and Road Trip planner and navigator.

Note to self: Need to check my qualifications later.................

Other observations.............

Could not help it but........
Has anyone noticed that the murder suspect John Mark Karr looks a little like a long lost anorexic little brother of actor Billy Zane?

"I've been loving you far too long.....I can't stop now......."

I was going through my CD collection and came across a copy of Joan Armatrading Greatest Hits CD, (released June 18, 1996) that I bought in 2000. A white guy that I worked with in 1996 had introduced her music to me, and made some tapes for me to listen to in my car. After seeing my shoe box of tapes I kept in my car, he could not believe that I did not have a car CD player, but that is another long story......... He was involved with a black woman, and was a burgeoning music enthusiast. Sometimes we would talk about rock, soul, folk, blues, and jazz music during our lunch breaks. After hearing her, I was embarrassed that I had never noticed Joan Armatrading before. Unfortunately, none of those tunes that he had taped for me with the exception of “Show Some Emotion,” and “The Weakness In Me ” were on the Greatest Hits CD that I had bought, so I shelved it until now. My collection of tapes are gone, either suffered moisture damage, and or dried out from being in a hot car for years. But as I listened to the CD again last night, I found greater appreciation for some of the cuts like:

• Cool Blue Stole My Heart
• Kissin' & Huggin'
• Drop The Pilot
• Willow

But I was determined to find the cuts that he had included on the tapes, so I went on Amazon.com and searched the listings of all her albums. I saw that the majority of the music he had chosen came from the CD “What's Inside” which was released a year before the Greatest Hits CD, on October 10, 1995, via RCA. After listening to that album, and the Greatest Hits CD, I feel that album for me, is her most inspiring, whimsical, and deeply touching music. My favorites from “What's Inside:”

• In Your Eyes
• Merchant Of Love
• Shapes And Sizes
• Lost The Love
• Songs
• Would You Like to Dance
• Recommend My Love (Video link also includes Shapes & Sizes-best viewed in IE browser)
  
• Beyond The Blue
• Can't Stop Loving You
• Shape Of A Pony
• Trouble

I now have to get a copy for myself, and may get all the rest of her CDs in the future so that I would have a complete collection. I have found that someone's else interpretation of a “Greatest Hits” album sometimes miss on some true gems and I prefer to make up my mind myself while I have all the options investigated and listened first. I also discovered this recording by Joan Armatrading first on You Tube for some General Hospital characters' montage, and later the video on her website. I found the song so beautiful and discovered that it is included on her "Lovers Speak" 2003 CD. I am attending a cousin's wedding this weekend, and is feeling all sentimental and rosy inside right now. This song really touched me to that if I was to get married again in a formal or semi- formal wedding, I would like to have this song as a wedding march or even as background music for a wedding video.

"In These Times" by Joan Armatrading

These are the times
Tears fill the back of your eyes
These are the times
The birds migrate
Across the skies

These are the times
What hope you had you forget
These wicked times
You're bound to feel
All sanity is lost

In these times everyone needs love
In these times do you pray to God
In these times everyone needs comfort
And would welcome a hand to hold
Compassion is the fire
That burns the hurt
That pains the soul
And though my eyes are so polluted
By the sight of lost desires
I can see you standing by

This is my fear
That distance will come between us
And it could mean nothing
Nothing
To get from here to there
We own the world
And everything that's in it
Let our love shine
Like glistening raindrops
Resting on a rose

In these times celebrate our love
In these times let's be thankful of
All the days we can spend together
And I'm happy to hold your hand
Your passion is the food
That feeds the hunger in my heart
And now my eyes are clearly open
No more longing for the past
Now I have you in these times

In these times everyone needs love
In these times do you pray to God
In these times everyone needs comfort
And would welcome a hand to hold
Your passion is the fire
That burns the hurt
That pains the soul
And though my eyes are so polluted
By the sight of lost desires
Good to have you in these times

Via www.OldieLyrics.com

Discovery, Rememberance, Revelation, and wishing for some woodworking skills.............

Some Musings.............

Maybe that weigh-loss hypnosis seminar did work...? I found myself mindlessly snacking on some Ritz crackers and started choking. It almost took a gallon of water to clear my throat out. I put the rest of them away after that experience. But I have noticed that the older I get, I can not eat any starchy foods without liquids following them. I have fell of my exercise routine this week as I job hunt and try to finish remodeling my dining room before Labor Day. I am going to get back in gear later this morning. My daughter's sixteenth birthday is next week, I agreed to host Labor Day, and family is coming to town, so the pressure is on. One of my younger brothers popped in town yesterday. The kids knew, but he wanted to be a surprise. Although I was very glad to see him, I realize that I do not like surprises. My daughter had to remind me that procrastination will do that to me when I do not stay on track.

The dining room was still in disarray, and I was trying to finish putting up this molding from Creative Crown. Although it is foam molding, it is not as easy as they indicated to put up. On the website they indicate that you can use LIQUID NAILS Wood & Foam Molding adhesive to attach to the wall, but as I have discovered, if there is a lot of humidity in the air as it is in my house, it ain't gonna work right away. I ended up using small brad nails to help secure them to the wall and the glue finally took after 24 hours. I am glad that in the kit, they do provide angle corner cuts. But cutting the matching angles with a miter box made me want to scream also. For a moment, I wished that I had this miter saw to finish the job.

Cutting the right angles were not that hard, but the left angles were the issues for me. But with some shortcuts, I finally got the rest of the top molding up last night. I just have to caulk the joints and paint over them. Then I need to finish putting up the chair rail molding. Part of me wishes that I had the money so that I could find a carpenter that could measure and cut the corner angles for me so I could quickly finish installing them. I could go up to Home Depot in my area and see if I could find a bulletin ad posting or inquire of some of the guys coming out of there. But I am going to pray on it, and hope that God send some clarity and inspiration my way to help me figure out this dilema.

I just recently discovered Corinne Bailey Rae via AOL Sessions. I have fell in love with her song "Trouble Sleeping." I definitely want the CD. There something about her is that is so unique, soulful, and fresh. I hope that she has a long career, and does not let anyone alter her, or "Pimp" her out to something that so distorted that she loses her beautiful essence. After watching all videos of her performances, I could not help but be reminded of Minnie Riperton. Their singing styles definitely differ, but there is such a sweetness and vitality about Corinne and Minnie that makes their music enjoyable for me.


I have not seen one of Minnie's TV performances in years, but was able to find some on You Tube today. I give much thanks and appreciation to those that posted those videos there. I loved seeing all of them! Minne was so cool, calm, collected and so amazing even while she was performing partially disabled from the cancer. Looking at the picture where she has the baby breath flowers in her hair, I now understand the inspiration for the maid of honor's hairstyle at my older stepsister's 1976 wedding. If I ever get married again, I am going to have dried Baby's Breath in my hair too. Also in 1976 on the Tonight Show hosted by Flip Wilson, Minnie revealed that she had malignant breast cancer and in 1978, she became chairman of the American Cancer Society. Minnie died from cancer on July 12, 1979. With her husband composer Richard Rudolph, she had two children, Marc and Maya Rudolph (Maya is currently a cast member on Saturday Night Live).

I can relate to this because I have to be checked every six months since I have a cyst in my left breast. Initially I found the news scary, but I dealt with the information and resolved to try to live my life to the fullest. I hope and pray that God will allow me to see my children grow up as emotional/spiritual healthy adults, have their own children and be able to enjoy my grandchildren as a doting grandmother also.

I made my mark.........

Currently listening to Stevie Wonder and Elton John.

Attended another job fair today and have another one tomorrow. Talking to this one guy today made me wonder was this effort a waste of time? He has been working longer than me, and I asked him if he ever got a job through a job fair, and if he knew anyone that had gotten a position via a job fair? His answer was “No” on both questions. I am seriously considering signing back up with several temp agencies and work that way, if it is feasible again. I am curious dear readers, if there are any......Have any of you gotten a position as a result of attending Job Fairs? Was it a Collegiate, Technical, Managerial or Basic Job Fair that proved beneficial for you? Inquiring minds want to know........

Voted this afternoon. Campaign supporters were all over the place. After we walked through the fray, my teenage daughter likened the experience to being a celebrity walking the red carpet at a movie premiere and dealing with the paparazzi.

It seems that the Smart Bus proposal passed in all counties. After the suburb of Livonia, Michigan opted out, I did not think that it had a chance. I truly hope all the communities supported it because with the gas prices on the rise, especially with the BP pipe debauchery, everyday folks will need an alternate to get to work or school. Unfortunately Mass Rail Transit is still an anomaly here in Southeastern Michigan, or more in the Oakland/Wayne/Macomb county areas. After visiting Chicago this spring, I truly believe the lack of light rail transportation stunted the cultural and economical growth of this area, and that is one of the many reasons why Michigan is in the mess that we find ourselves in now.

Saw on WXYZ -TV that Micheal Bouchard won the Republican nomination for the US Senate seat. His opponent, Bishop Keith Butler, had his folks in full force at the polls and he even visited my church last Sunday. I may be wrong, but I think that the last time he visited our church, it was when he was running for City Council. I think that we have visited his church more for funerals, friends' and family graduations, holiday programs and seminars. We do live closer to Word of Faith (Which is a very beautiful and well run facility) than our own church, but my family prefers the smaller and more intimate setting of our church.

They did get upset when I considered another church that was closer, but had to nix the ideal because at least the kids are involved in some of the organizations, which I can not attest to in my case. I am happy that my kids enjoy their participation there, and will continue to support them. But when they become adults, although I do like and enjoy the church that we attend, I may seriously considered a church closer to my home. As a flawed Christian, I just feel that I will get more sense of community when I am involved with an active community institution that is at least in a five mile radius of where I live.

Reunited...

Reacquainting with someone from your past can be uplifting and depressing at the same time. Lately I have been corresponding with a former classmate that attended high school with me. We both played sports, but with him being a star athlete, at least in our world, he was inundated with a lot of female attention. Being friends, I did like him for his sense of humor, but had no desire in jumping into the feline fray. It was interesting to hear his recollections of those days. I always thought that he was having the time of his life, especially during our senior year. However besides participating in after school sporting events, he also worked part time in the evening and had late hours. Keeping up the grades were a struggle for him also. I had only remembered him being extroverted, but listening to his recollections reminded me that he was also very quiet during our freshman and sophomore years too.

During some of our conversations, he spoke of missed opportunities due to bad decisions, distractions, and financial responsibilities. He had to forgo a scholarship which reminded me about my dropping out of college, and intentions that I have not followed on through also. I could not help but think about our potential, aspirations, and past goals at that time. Like me, he is also going through changes in life, and I admired his hope and ambition. Talking to him is nice, and flattering also. He indicated that he liked the fact that I was always down to earth and spoke my mind. He reminded me of a conversation that we had twenty years ago. We had ran into each other and hung out together for a minute. I had recently seriously started dating my boyfriend who later became my husband, and just considered him as a good friend. During that time he admitted that he had a thing for me, and wanted to seriously see me, which my brother currently insists was lust at that time, which was in 1985.

I was in shock from the revelation, but was honest and told him about my boyfriend. I did let him know at that time also that I was very flattered and wished that he had better timing, but I was committed to my boyfriend and that I hoped that we would remain friends. Needless to say, we did not see each other again until almost six years later after I had married and I had my first child. He did seem happy to see me and fawned over my baby daughter at the time, and that was the last time I saw or conversed with him until now. I could not help but wonder for a moment, what would have happened if we had gotten together at that time? But looking back over my past, I think that it would not have lasted between him and me. I had certain expectations then, and I do not believe that he could have or even would have tried to meet them.

I have to say that for me, it has really felt good to be able to truly laugh lately. His sense of humor is still sharp as ever and he indicated that talking to me makes him feel positive and hopeful about himself. He says that he does feel good after our talks. Ditto for me also. Part of me does want to see him, but part of me wants to take my time and have no expectations when the time came. I did let him know up front that I was a big girl now, and was no longer that sleek, slender girl that he remembered. That brought a laugh from him because he admitted that as a grandfather now, he was no longer the finely toned athlete that I would remember either. It has been great to rediscover an old friendship. Although I have to admit that I have fantasized about us becoming serious about each other, ala Donna Hanover style, I definitely know that I need to stay grounded in reality, especially since my current somewhat distant guy is still in the picture at the moment.

But it would be nice if we just stayed old friends too.