Thoughts on “Desperate Housewives” Bree's "O" discovery.............

Watching “Desperate Housewives” on Sunday reminded me of a conversation that I had with a friend. Seeing the character Bree being informed by her doctor that she just experienced her first orgasm, I was not surprised. I think that there are many women out there that really have not experienced an orgasm, especially those that we think has it all together. It also made me think of a friend who also has issues in that department. Currently she is on a sexual sabbatical, which I call it because I remember her being a very sexual person. She indicated that she will be celibate, mainly because of the many crude and dysfunctional men she has met in the past. I am happy that she came to that decision because I felt that she is becoming wiser and more considerate of who she allows in her life.

Once she complained about how sexually unsatisfied her past relationships were. When she indicated that she does not want to be bothered with men, and would be celibate, which is something I commend her on, she sounded so bitter which was more than usual. She indicated that she rarely had an orgasm with the men that she had sex with, and that has been a significant amount. I was astounded at her revelation. I asked her if she actively worked at achieving an orgasm with a man during missionary sex, or did she try to get on top and work on achieving it herself?

From the answer she gave me, it seemed that she expected to have one when a man was thrusting inside of her. I wanted to ask her if she had any toys or did she masturbate, but couldn't because I felt so sorry for her at that moment and felt that I would not phrase the question right at that time. Although attraction is also a key factor, I had to tell her that I had to be aroused mentally first before I was sexually interested with a man, and that I also got on top sometimes to achieve an orgasm. She indicated that was too much work for her, and that she rarely got an orgasm when a man performed oral sex on her. Again I was shocked. I could not help but wonder did her early sexual experiences mentally f*&ked her up, or if she just had not found that intimacy that she was looking for?

An old acquaintance had told me years ago that when he and one of her exes were worked together, her ex told him that he and my friend had the best sex after they had a physical fight. Initially the news freaked me out, but after remembering that her father was very physically abusive with her mother when my friend was young, I somewhat understood a bit what was behind that. I wished that I could tell her that she needed to seek counseling for that issue, but I could not let her know what my old acquaintance had told me, because I knew a lot of drama would occur and a storm would rage for a statement made many years ago. I could only hope that while she is celibate, she will read more literature about becoming a women who is at peace with herself. I might slip her some books by Iyanla Vanzant or Susan Taylor to assist her.